I'm going to vent for a moment, I apologize. I'm not asking for sympathy, just need to put some thoughts down and get it out. Sometimes I think how much I love my job. Some nights I take care of the most precious babies and children you can imagine. I LOVE when I get to rock a baby, bottle feed, bathe, and oohhh and gahh over a tiny lovely face.
Other times I think how sad, overwhelming, stressful, and powerful my job is in my life. I don't think I realize how intense (no pun intended) my work is and how heavy it can lay on my heart when I go home. Why does God allow horrible things to happen to His precious children, and by children, I mean CHILDREN? And what's even worse there have been time that I have thought, "this poor child needs a new family, their family doesn't deserve them!! " Being in Memphis we see tend to see some pretty horrible things parents do to their children and I am appalled each time however when I'm at work, it's work. I'm here 12hrs, I also need to distance myself or the reality of it all will truely hinder the care I provide.
Lastly, I think about the chronically ill children that we have in our unit at times. These to me are the hardest. I have a hard time wrapping my head and heart around their little lives. I wish that they could talk, not breath on a vent their whole lives, and have a real childhood. I can't image the choices these parents make about the care and future of these kids. Again, God, why?
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God Bless you!! It really is hard sometimes but I know with my job I just tell myself that it is a reality and if we didn't do our jobs then no one would be protecting those sweet babies! Keep it up!!
ReplyDeleteYou do amazing work Alyson and those families are blessed to have such an awesome person as their nurse. I can only imagine how hard your job must be. I am thankful for you for so many reasons and your work is one of the reasons. Love you!
ReplyDelete-Brit